Res Ipsa: Boston, Day 2

On Thursday, we went to the conference for a bit and then took the T (their name for the subway) out to the Sam Adams Brewery. The tour was….wait for it…..awesome. Our tour guide was hilarious, and we got to taste all different kinds of barley and smell the hops (you don't taste those). The barley is great - it tastes like a cross between Nutri-Grain cereal and actual beer. You chew it and then it feels like you have solid beer stuck in your teeth, were it possible. Then we got our free tasting mugs (only 7 oz., unfortunately) and went to taste beer. The state of Massachusetts only lets them serve 21 oz. of beer to 1 person on a tour (so we only got to taste 3 kinds), but they did make sure to point out that you are welcome to take as many tours in a day as you want.

These people really really really do love their beer. The commercials really don't even do them justice. And apparently the cute older bald guy with the long beard in the commercials not only works there, but was working there that day, but we didn't manage to catch a glimpse of him. We really wanted a picture with him, but I guess we'll have to save that for next trip. So apparently all the employees there taste beer every day at 10:30 am and 2pm. The tour guide was like, "Yep, we start drinking every day at 10:30am, for YOU guys." And even the lowliest employee has to go through this course where they learn all about beer and beer making and beer tasting, and have to be able to tell not just good from bad, but what's wrong with it if it does go bad. Pretty darn impressive.

If they find any beer on store shelves that is past its sell-by date, they buy it back at retail price because their owner, Jim Koch (the founder and the guy in the commercials) would rather do that than have people drink stale beer. And every year the employees save samples of bad batches of beer and put it into a dunk tank, into which Mr. Koch gets dunked, as he says he'd rather put people into stale beer, than stale beer into people.

Our guide about to hand out the barley and hops for us to try:

Our tour guide teaching us more about how beer is made:

Beer being "finished"

Finally, getting to taste the finished product:

Below, our guide is explaining about "Utopias." It's this non-carbonated, almost liqueur-type beer that's something like 26% alcohol that they only make every few years. They only produce 9,000 bottles (or something like that), and it's illegal in most states because of the alcohol content. So you have to pre-order it in another state and then go pick it up. You drink it in a tumbler, not a regular beer glass. It comes in this golden mini-beer-finisher-model bottle, which you can't really see in this picture. Most of us had never heard of it, until some beer aficionado raised his hand and asked when the next batch was coming out. Luckily for him, it's this November.

Below is a picture of "The Perfect Pint" glass.

So what is The Perfect Pint? one might ask...It's the final result of Jim Koch's obsessive (I told you he loves his beer!) quest to create the perfect glass in which to drink Sam Adams Boston Lager. It's perfectly designed for just that beer, and when in Boston, you're supposed to send SABL back if it's not served in the Perfect Pint glass now. Funny. I suppose all other types of beer turn to dust in it, right? It's really almost ridiculous how much thinking/work went into this glass: the bottom is laser etched to send a continuous stream of bubbles to the top; the lip is created to deliver the beer to the back part of your tongue, which is where the bitter sensors are; it's made so that your hand won't warm to beer past it's optimal temperature (yes, they actually have an optimal temperature at which SABL should be drunk), etc., etc., etc.

Here is a link to an article about how Jim Koch designed "The Perfect Pint" glass: http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/2007/03/05/8401280/index.htm. It's actually really interesting, everything that goes into it. Who knew beer drinking could have advanced so far, technologically-speaking???

On Thursday night, we decided to go to this place called Dicks Last Resort. The waiters there are known for their rudeness, and the ruder you are back to them, the better your service. At first our waiter didn't seem all that mean, but then when Natalie tried to helpfully point out where her birthdate was on her driver's license when he was carding us, he was like, "I know how to do my job!" And they make silly hats for the diners out of white butcher paper, with various and sundry insults on them. Brian got one that said "I vacation on Brokeback Mountain." The girls get either hats or helium balloons that they attach to some of your hair so they float above your head.

Us at Dicks: